Take Some Time Out of Your Day and Do Something Different For A Change

Here is the problem with American television (and movies for that matter). In order to insure a return on your investment audio/visual media must make sure they are producing something everyone will like.

This means 1) Plot by committee 2) Screening groups, screening groups, screening groups

Problem with that is that most of the time, all the creativity is sucked out and the original vision. Even if the idea was fantastic (see "Zombocalypse" for an example) it generally gets so watered down, the final product ends up with about as much emotional punch as a wet sock.

However, this pig has some good news for you.

Because so much money is made in the entertainment industry. Sometimes, just sometimes a little of that scrilla is siphoned off the top and something really cool gets made.

Enter - THE AMAZING SCREW ON HEAD.

Created by "Hellboy" genius Mike Mignola - it's a wild romp through Civil War era America, with a robot James West saving the day from a zombie. It's got a monkey, flame throwers and butlers who tend to have short life spans.

I can't say enough good things about this show.

Well...except that it wasn't picked up by the network after the pilot. (Mostly because it was too original - which in my opinion is an oxymoron).

But, do not despair!

If you're willing to kill twenty minutes and you have an open mind, you can watch the pilot at the link below.

So. Go make some hot tea for the love and all that is holy and watch the damn show already.

You can thank me later.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5434666681046246946&q=The+Amazing+Screw-On+Head

What They Don't Tell You About Weight Loss.

So the world has been kinda topsy turvy lately for me.

One minute I'm up...the next I crash.

One minute I'm telling everyone I'm going to ride out my next three weeks of weight loss and see how far I can go. The next I'm telling them once I reach 180 I'm done.

One minute I'm laughing and joking with the people with whom I work, the next I'm snapping at them over little stuff.

I know my body is going through a huge change (65 pounds in about 4 months)...which must also be doing something to my mind as well.

But here's another problem...

And no one ever thinks about this.

Part of my personality is that I don't really act so much, as RE-act to people.

And once you start loosing weight. I mean serious weight. People start treating you differently.

I mean for the whole part everyone is pretty supportive at work. I get a lot of "Hey man, you're looking good." Or "So how much have you lost?"

But a lot of other people are pulling away from me.

I'm loosing friends and I don't know why.

Perhaps I'm overreacting. I probably am.

But still...it sucks.

Hopper needs...

I got this from my Facebook friend Kelly. You type "(you name) and needs..." into a search engine. Then you write down what comes up. So...

HOPPER NEEDS...

1. Some TLC.

2. Help.

3. Two legs.

4. A home.

5. Sure footing.

6. To go fast.

7. To hurry.

8. Support.

9. To be cleaned.

10. A rail-guided launch sled.

I agree that I need TLC and support.

I don't know why everyone thinks I'm moving too slow.

My favorites are the last two...I'm not sure how they know that I need to be cleaned.

And HELL YEAH - I need a rail guided launch sled...think off all the things I could do with that!

A Day In The Life

I don't know if you have been able to tell, but if truth be told...this pig has been a little depressed lately.

To begin I'm down to losing about a pound a week now - which is about frustrating as hell. So I started working out after work (an hour a day!)...You know what happened? I went UP SEVEN POUNDS!!!!! (Screw this noise)!

I'm over worked and underpaid (nothing new there) but lately I've felt very unappreciated.

Now this entry is not about complaining...instead let me tell you how nice it is, when it all comes together.

Part of my frustration is that I plan to do stuff, and then life gets in the way. DARN YOU LIFE!

Take this weekend for example.

The plan -

-Ten Pages of Zombie Novel.

-Submit, submit, submit (something I've been putting off)
-Clean the house
-Workout

But here's life-

-A wedding on Saturday (which I skipped)...then come to find out on Sunday the wedding had half naked buxom women and a monkey! (Figures...)
-Baby Shower on Sunday (which was very, very awkward) - I left early.
-Birthday party today (this should be fun)

But then the toilet breaks last night. So after weigh-in I go and pick up the parts at the local hardware store. I get the parts, stop at Starbucks and get a gift card for the birthday girl and stop by the grocery store for a card.

Then I get home and fix the toilet in like seven minutes.

You know, last night a friend of mine said. When you try to move mountains it may suck because of how hard you push yourself...but it's pretty damn cool when that mountain moves (paraphrasing here...if you're reading Lauren).

And you know what?

She's right.

To get all that done in less than two hours is pretty cool. I don't know why I'm always complaining about not having enough time. There is time out there, I just need to realize that achieving my three large goals is not going to happen by April...that's why they are goals for the year!

What Wouldn't Jesus Do?

Indeed!

Musings About Zombies

Alright...so I'm waist deep in Zombacolypse! The young adult zombie novel I'm writing.

So far the story goes as thus...

You have a group of high school kids from a Catholic School in Portland, OR. It's summer and their Latin teacher Father Rockford (yes...I know...cool huh?) is taking them on a trip to Rome.

While at the airport they find body bags on the tarmac. The bags are moving - so they go down to stop the beginnings of the zombie invasion.

"How so?" You ask.

Well these kids are not really Latin students...they have been hand picked to be members of a secret society based out of The Vatican called "The Order of Lux Lucis" or "The Order of Daylight". They have been trained to use magic to fight the forces of evil.

So, our little band of students nuke the zombies, but one gets loose. Homeland Security arrests our heroes and while in custody all hell breaks loose.

So you got about thirty pages of them getting out the airport.

Another twenty pages where they call the local Catholic Vampire Hunter (trained trough a different branch at the Vatican) who promptly comes to save them.

Another twenty pages where the zombies attack and they all get separated.

Anyway, these two kids (Randy and Lunchbox) end up with another priest, and they go to this church where Father John thinks they'll be safe.

Problem is, the zombies got there first. Total carnage. The zombies have desecrated the church. The kids ask the priest why the zombies would do such a thing. And Father John says...well, here. Let me just show you...

Randy shrugged, "But can you tell me something Father?"
"I can try."
"Why would they do this," he waved his hand across the room,
encompassing everything with one motion. "I mean, what
exactly did they hope to accomplish?"
"Whether or not you call them zombies or vampires," the priest
said. "They are still just the living dead. And the living dead work
much the same way as demons. They wait for the soul to leave the
body and then they swoop in and take over. In essence you end up
with a corpse that for all practical purposes is alive, but without a
soul."
"That doesn't explain what happened here," Lunchbox interrupted.
"Without a soul you aren't connected to God," Father John turned to
Lunchbox. "Let me ask you. If you were disconnected from God, how
would that make you feel?"
"I think I'd be sad," Lunchbox admitted.
"Naw," Randy looked around the desecrated church. "You'd be

very, very pissed."

Now I don't know why I put this scene in. As a matter of fact I considered cutting the whole thing all together, because it didn't really fit with anything. But I thought it was cool so I kept it.

And then something strange happened.

As the story has progressed, the zombies have been evolving. To make things harder for the main characters I've been making them progressively smarter.

In the last scene I wrote Father Rockford is about to cut a swath through a massive mob of zombies, and then one of them speaks! The evolved zombie asks his help, so they can find out what or who has created them.

You know, when I started writing this book, it was just supposed to be about a bunch of kids with super powers fighting the undead in an abandoned city.

Which by itself would have been pretty cool.

But now it's taken on these huge life, theological, philosophical questions. The scene above now fits in with what the zombies are up to. They are angry at God because they feel abandoned by him.

Now, I've got the military killing them and the kids are beginning to ask if the evolved zombies deserve to live or die. They are beginning to question who the monsters are...the zombies or the military.

And that's what's so cool about writing! This story has begun to take on a much larger life on it's own...it's almost out of my control, and I'm just transcribing at this point.

You know, something just occurred to me! This novel has become MY evolved zombie!

Whoa...

That's pretty deep...

Wombats

I love Wombats!



I love mother and baby wombats...


I love just baby wombats...

I even love the band The Wombats...

He He He...Wombats...koooool