Food For Thought...Or How Tao Changed My Life

So - I'm always looking for patterns in the universe. I believe they are there. We just don't see them very often because life keeps getting in the way. But if we slow down and don't see what's going on around us, but actually LOOK at what's going on around us, the patterns become clear.

So - In the process of seeking spiritual enlightenment, I've been listening to a Zen podcast called "Zencast".



It helps me slow down and put things in prospective. The other morning I was getting ready for work and in the process of taking my 'daily constitutional" I picked up a book on Zen from the back of my toilet. The section I breifly read had to do with unhappiness and how it's all locked up in the mind. Then I plug in my Ipod as I make breakfast and listen to Zencast. The topic of that day...Unhappiness and how it's all locked up in the mind.

Now this pig knows when the universe is trying to say something to it. And to turns ones mind off of the problems of the day, or upcoming day is not an easy thing. But that is what I attempted to do. It's not a bad system to find yourself in.

Today I listened to my daily Taoist podcast called Tao 360



The idea behind this podcast had to do with - "Parting". It dealt with how we must not allow ourselves to get trapped by Earthly possessions. That includes friends and lovers as well.

Trouble is, we are human and we want to hold onto those things that make us happy.

Consider the pig's entry from a week or so ago, where he talks about how he's always been able to leave these things behind.

I am beginning to think that maybe this outlook is not as dysfunctional as I once thought.

A New Dawn

I've got a confession to make.

I love the 1970s. It's a time in wish I could travel back and live. Not because it was an age of innocence, because really...if you know anything about it - it wasn't. It was a decade that was filled with violence and fear.

No. I want to live in the 1970s because that was a time when people believed in creating things. They created and lived...not for money or possessions (well I mean they did) - but it wasn't like how the country became after Reagan took over and made it patriotic to kill and spend, spend, spend.

Now, I have another confession to make.

I'm not as ecstatic as I thought I would be, now that my man Obama is in power. It's not his fault. This country has been going in the wrong direction for almost thirty years. It's like an oil tanker, you're not just gonna turn it around in a few months.

However, that's kinda the good part.

I mean. For thirty years the country has been broken. It's been unhealthy. Living for power and money...and money...and more money. Now the whole damn thing has caught up to us and bitten the whole world on it's collective ass.

My priest said in her sermon the other day that those of us who have been waiting for this day should have been happy to see these billionaires taken off to jail in handcuffs. The problem is, we're all so overwhelmed with what has happened, none of us feels like celebrating. About anything.

I've been looking around and I think...wow...this all so bad. Everyone I know, including myself just seems to want to crawl in a hole and go to sleep. It's like we're all exhausted and depressed.

But then...I stop and slow down. I look closer. And you know what I see? I see the buds of flowers poking their little heads out of the snow. Because this is springtime for the world (yes, I know it's actually really springtime right now... but I'm using it as a metaphor).

I see people getting through this time in history by using their creativity. Not to make money. Not to become famous. But because they love creating. And let me tell you something. The man can't tax you for making chalk drawings on the sidewalk. Wal-mart can't charge you for taking photos of sunsets and posting them on your blog.

It's happening at my church. We're being reborn. The building, the people, the attitudes. It's like someone has thrown open a window and let the sunlight in on some dusty old room.

I see it in start up radio stations. A friend of mine knows a guy running a station called The Bridge. She compares it to those underground start up stations in the 1970s. (Now do you know why I love that decade so much)? That's what we need more of. People playing music because it makes them happy and makes the rest of us happy. Not to scam you out of some money.

Let me tell you something about money. It's like food. We all need a little to survive. But when you start gobbling it up like a pig, you get bloated and unhealthy. You stop savoring it. You stop tasting it. It means nothing...and then you know what happens? Dr. Phil has to come to your house and remove a wall to forklift your fat ass out of there. Do you want that?

I'm planning on podcasting a novel I wrote a couple of years ago, pretty soon. I have an actor friend who is going to read it for three reasons.

One, he likes my writing and really wants to support it.

Two, he likes me as a friend and really wants to support me.

Three, he can put it on his little acting bio sheet.

You see? Everyone wins.

People get to hear my writing for free, I get some work out there in the world and my buddy gets to help out a friend/build a resume at the same time.

Now I could horde my little book, demanding that people pay to read/hear it. But you know what? I think most people would be like, "Who the hell are you to ask for money?"

And you know what? They'd be right.

I'm willing to post my novel on ITunes.

If it's good (and I think it is) people will then offer me money to read another book. If that happens publishers will publish me. Folks spend a little cash for my book, I get some scrilla, the publishers get some scrilla and there you go.

Life is good.

Then, I'm gonna take that money. Buy a very, small two bedroom house. An old 1973 pickup and spend the rest making my family, friends and church very, very happy.

And do you know why? Because my family, friends and church want me to succeed. Not for money, because they don't expect any money. They want me to succeed, because it makes them happy to see me happy.

And that makes this fat, little piggy want to share his food.

So Many Plans So Little Time

Well...Blogging the novel didn't work out. So I went with Livejournal - which allows me to cut and paste the Word Document just fine. However it's hard to navigate and well, it's just not getting the amount of hits, interest, buzz I was hoping.

I mean it could be that my novel just sucks, but let's not be silly!

So, I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself, as thousands of people are not begging me on Facebook for the next installment of Zombocalypse!

When I get a new idea.

Actually this is an old idea I'm recycling.

This summer, I'm gonna have my actor friend Will read my other novel "Blackwater" into a mic attatched to my computer. Then using Audasity (free voice recording software) we're gonna Podcast it. Put it up on ITunes and then let's see what happens.

Get some buzz that way and I can see the book offers start rolling in.

It's just that I think we're gonna have to sit down and make some serious time for this. Still it's an idea that is firing me up.

Now if I could just drop these last ten pounds, write the last thirty pages of Zombocalypse! and clean the back room of my place - life would be good!

It's as if I am in battle for my very soul

So...one of my goals this year is spiritual enlightenment.

Part of reaching this goal is recognizing that success is there. All I have to do is believe. I know that thought forms are energy. Thus, all I have to do is send out those waves to the universe...saying, "Hey Universe...Crimson Pig here. How about we go ahead and get that novel published."

Trouble is. I don't know where to start.

I got my Writer's Market Books. But whenever I start to use them. A lot of the publishers are either out of business or are no longer accepting manuscripts.

I know I can succeed, I just don't know how to do so.

It's frustrating.

I suppose if it were easy, we'd all be doing it.

Right?

A Trip Down Amnesia Lane

Let me tell you a story...

Since I was about eight years old I have fancied myself as a modern day, American Doctor Who. For those who know nothing of the show...a brief rundown.




The Doctor as he is known is a mysterious time traveler...who travels through time and space in a machine which looks like a Police Public Call Box from London circa 1950-1960.



The interior is bigger on the inside than on the outside. And our man the Doctor is always finding himself in various scrapes all throughout time and space.

The show began on November 22, 1963 and ran pretty much non-stop on the BBC until 1989. (You heard me right - twenty six years running...without a break - unless you count that hiatus crap in the mid 1980s).


Then, there was an attempted resurrection on the Fox network back in 1997.



Sadly, just as Fox does with most great shows (see...Firefly, Wonderfalls, Andy Richter Controls the Universe...etc.) it was killed. Mostly likely because it was creative and original.

Anyway, thank the good lord that the show is back on the air and can be seen on BBC America or the Sci-Fi Channel.

What I love about the show is how it constantly reinvents itself. Every one to five years the character the Doctor 'regenerates' into a new form. Which allows a new actor to play the role. He picks up new companions and then leaves them behind once they have had enough (or in a few cases they die).

He'll save a world and just before the populace celebrates him as a hero, he climbs inside his time machine and without fan fair, he simply leaves. And that to me has always been a metaphor for my life.

Now we get to the point...(because if you have not realized it yet...this blog is really all about me).

I have tried to live my life like the Doctor. The wife-unit knows this. She's pointed it out a few times. I was the most happy when I was traveling. I picked up people in my life and then they left...like the Doctor's granddaughter was left to rebuild Earth after it was invaded in 2025. Just like his companion Sarah Jane Smith was forced to return to Earth in the 1980s when it became too dangerous for her to continue to travel with him.



Friends have come into my life and gone. Girlfriends have come and gone. And yet I continued to travel...fighting evil, avoiding the use of violence, using my wits and charm...even stopping for a spot of tea. (I really should be British you know).

Throughout it all, I have to say that so far it's been a pretty good lifestyle.

I must admit, it was a little dysfunctional...as in it took the wife-unit years to break me and realize that I needed to settle down with her (and thank God I did).

But...and there is always a but...

Here's what they don't tell you about trying to be a traveling time lord who abhors violence.

Sometimes your past catches up with you.

Because of Facebook, I've lately found myself being forced to face my past life...particularly in High School. This is a time I simply walked away from. I left my friends and ex-girlfriends behind. I continued forward, not bothering to look back, because I was living new adventures and meeting new companions.

But now, I've suddenly found my past staring right at me, bringing to light all these feelings and thoughts I had safely locked away.

As my friend Scott said today wistfully - "That's kinda cool...and kinda sad."

Yes my friend it is. But, what is even more sad is that some day you'll probably move on to another planet, helping it's inhabitants rebuild after the two of us save them.

And as for me...I will calmly walk over to my time machine and just simply move on.

And The Cell Door Slams Behind You...

A Warning First...What I'm about to talk about and show you is disturbing. I'm not doing this to make a political point...as I believe that when all is said and done, and there you are standing before your god, politics doesn't add up to a hill of beans. (To quote one of my favorite movies).

This is a true story. The soldier's name is Ty Ziegel - his girlfriend's name is Renee.

Here is the two of them in happier times.




This is their wedding photo a few years later.

This is after his truck was attacked in Iraq and he was almost burned to death.



But what I really want you to look at is not him.

I want you to look at Renee's eyes.

That, my friends, is the look of the cell door slamming behind you.

It's the look of someone trying to do the right thing.

But you can tell she is no longer in love with him.

Now, that doesn't make her a bad person...I mean, this is her wedding photo...

And she's not even smiling.

Which brings me to my point.

Here is a problem that has been bothering the pig for a few days.

There is a girl at work with whom I used to be close. She'd come in before work and we'd talk about books, movies or music. She'd loan me books, I'd loan her comic books. She'd loan me CD's and DVD's etc.

Then she stopped coming in.

No big deal, people get busy.

But you see. She was supposed to join my work group next year as like my assistant. I give these invites to those with whom I trust and like. It makes working together much more productive and pleasant.

Well...the other day she comes in to tell me that she want's to work for another group leader. Lays out the reasons and I'm like - "OK, do what you need to do."

I mean yeah. I feel betrayed. I feel disrespected. I feel screwed over, because now I've got to scramble for a replacement at the last minute and all the good workers have already been picked over. And I'm not gonna lie, I'd rather do all the work myself than get saddled with someone who only works in a half assed fashion.

I mean under the circumstances, I thought I was being pretty cool.

I didn't get upset.

I mean, I really didn't get upset.

Like when I fake it and try to tell myself I'm not upset when I really am. It wasn't even remotely like that.

I just don't want someone to work for me because they feel a sense of obligation. I don't want her to feel like Renee. You know, doing something they hate out of a sense of duty.

Not for me anyway. That's not how I roll.

So you see...

Zen Pig.

Mature Pig.

I was quite proud of myself.

But now here is the kicker.

I have heard that said girl is upset with me. (Or at least that's what is going through the grapevine, and I work in a very small town enviornment).

I'm not sure why either. I don't know what I did.

I mean if I expect too much from the people who work for me (and I do) that doesn't make me a bad person. If she can't handle the work than she did the right thing.

If she likes the other guy better. That's ok with me as well.

Hell if I've done something to offend her, I'll apologize.

The problem is I don't know what it is that I did.

And in the end that is the question I keep coming back to..."What did I do?"

Oh well...

By the way. I looked it up.

Ty and Renee's marriage broke up in less than a year. (Tell the truth...did you expect it to end any other way).

The first ten chapters are up!

Nuff said.

http://chris-aylett.livejournal.com

Zombocalypse Is Very Close To Being Up and Running

OK - here's the problem.

I wanted to put Zombocalypse on Blogger here. But problems arose.

First - Formatting errors out the wazoo. I can't even begin to tell you how bad the text looked after I cut and pasted it all into Blogger.

Second - By default my Zombocalypse page was attatched to my Crimson Pig page. This was a problem in that I wasn't sure if I wanted those reading my book knowing about my personal bitching.

Third - I've been told this blog is hard to read. Not a problem in short bursts, but when you're reading over ten pages I'm sure that's gonna get pretty annoying, pretty damn quick.

However!

I am the type of person who would reather light a candle than curse the darkness.

So...

Zombocalypse is up at Livejournal under my pen name - Christopher Aylett.

http://chris-aylett.livejournal.com

Check it out, I know you won't be disappointed.

Re-Cap Of February

OK - Gotta Make This Quick. I want to get the first five chapters up on Zombacolypse.

1. Facebook still consumes way, way, way too much of my time.

2. The zombie signs will be going up soon...but they will really be promotional signs for the upcoming blockbuster "Zombacolypse The Movie".

3. I'm still an Episcopalian...however right now I'm ready to burn my lifetime membership card.

4. There is still more than enough out there...and writers still aren't getting it.

5. That guy still rocks!

6. Wombats still rock!

7. Jesus still rocks!

8. I'm still fighting depression...sometimes it's getting pretty bad.

9. Hopper still needs a rail guided launch sled...seriously...go find one for me! (We can play with it together)

10. I'm still losing weight and I'm still losing friends (go figure)

11. And finally....If you have not watched "The Amazing Screw On Head" - why are you reading this? Get on it!

See you next month.