Saturday, October 10, 2009

Time to Shift Some Gears

So I came to a conclusion the other day. And for most people this will appear to be no big deal, but for me it's kinda huge. For the past eight or nine years I've been working towards being a horror writer. It's be a road that I have not been too serious about and my work (while getting better) has never been where I thought it should be.

Now don't get me wrong. I love reading horror works, I love watching horror movies. Some of my favorite books have been and always will be horror.

It's just that writing the stuff I always felt like I was wearing the wrong pajamas. They fit, and sometimes they were a little comfy...but for the whole part they just didn't quite fit right.

So I wrote a Steampunk story and turned it in to my creative writing class. The kids went nuts over it...they loved the idea (though they tore the story apart).

I think the novel I'm going to write over NaNoWriteMO will be Steampunk in creation. I think it's were I need to be. It's more of a natural fit. You would think at my age realizing what you really are would be easy. And yet after each layer I always seem to find another farther down.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

WIP Wednesday

I am so itching to start working on my list of steampunk ideas, but I've got the type of personality where I like finish the projects I've already started. So I've got to finish "Mutant Freaks Must Die" - a little tale about alien invasion, smoking adolescents and one very capable high school janitor who saves the day. I keep repeating like a mantra "only ten more pages to go...only ten more pages to go."

Anyway...here's what I wrote last night.

"What do you think it looks like moron," Chastity demanded. "It's clearly some sort of alien crap."

"Yeah right," the sophomore said sarcastically, "alien crap which turns people into giant bugs when you smoke it. That's insane!"

"Insane or not," I countered. "I think she's probably right."

"HA," the girl snapped back before adding. "Take that!"

"Will the two of you shut up for a second," I suddenly yelled. "I'm trying to think."

Sunday, October 4, 2009

All Things Wizards and Zombies

I have really, really, really been trying to stick to my thirty minutes of writing a day (at least).

I still have twenty pages left of "Mutant Freaks Must Die" and then the rewrites of my Steampunk story.

After that I would like to finish another Steampunk story I have written (something my creative writing class has shown quite a bit of interest in...and let's face it I can't let the little 'uns down. I mean they are just soooooo cute).

The idea is to get all this done before November so I can hit the Steampunk Novel full force for NanoWriteMo.

Problem is...if you could call it a problem...my two young adult novels have been making the rounds at school. A kid will finish one book with great ideas, then another kid will want to read it and then they'll have rewrite ideas. And the thing is...they're all really good ideas. So here I am rewriting, while playing hunt the agent, while trying to keep up on my other stuff.

Then you get stuff like, oh I don't know...this thing called life which tends to get in the way.

Still it's all very exciting.

My friend Lauren gave me a gift of Zombie Zinfandel, or "Zombie Zin" for short.



I've promised that when "Zombacolypse!" gets published she, the wife unit, her husband unit and I will all break into it together.

Now I've really got a goal.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

WIP Wednesday

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. The good news is I've been busy writing, listening to Billy Squier and taking care of my epic 'TO DO' list. (Update soon to follow).

Anyway...I finished the Steampunk story (the kids workshop it Monday...I'll let you know how that comes out) However I now need to start my third story which has been tentatively titled either "THE JANITOR" or "MUTANT FREAKS MUST DIE!"

Her name was Mai, my one true love, my everything, my wife. I had met her while on a lecture tour in Japan. She was visiting with her ballet troup from China. The first time I saw her was when she was dancing, like water in the moonlight. The last time I saw her she lay dying next to me, the steering wheel of our Volvo crushing her delicate ribcage to a pulp.

I sat up in bed with a start. The crack of thunder which had awakened me still rumbled in the distance. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the gloom as the rain continued to tapdance across the roof of my trailer. It smelled of jasmin in the cramped bedroom, but I knew that I was just imagining that. Mai's perfume had smelled of jasmine...but of course Mai was dead. buried months ago and yet I continued to dream of her every night.

Anyway...hoped you enjoyed.

Later.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

WIP Wednesday

While I've been sticking pretty well to the writing every night plan, right now most of my time has been taken up with the Steampunk story as it is due for creative writing class sometime next week. The problem is, I'm trying to keep the page numbers under fifteen pages (mostly for the student's sanity) however I'm already eight pages in and I've just gotten out of the exposition! I think we're looking at a twenty five page tale here. Hmmmmm.

Anyway here is the latest...

The roomful of medical students held their breath as Doctor Kellar gently reached down and with a practiced flick of the wrist removed the patient's skullcap. The top of the woman's head slid from the doctor's hand and struck the hardwood floor with a loud crack that echoed across the silent theater.
Doctor Kellar gasped in horror, as Mr. Groom leaned forward to get a better view.
Filling the young woman's skull was not the fleshy grey matter they had expected. Instead a series of small cogs and wheels, like one would find in a timepiece, lay before them spinning and ticking away peacefully.
Suddenly the young woman's eyes snapped open, as she looked up at the doctor with curious detachment.
Her mouth opened, and in an inhuman voice that echoed from deep within her she screamed, "Why are you tampering with my soul?!"
One of the students gasped, as the woman screamed again, "Why are you tampering with my soul?!"
Doctor Kellar leaned forward, the reflection of the mad woman's face filling his round spectacles.
"Fascinating," he whispered just before she reached out and twisted her fingers around his throat in a steel grip.



As usual...any comments or suggestions are quite welcome.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Quick Update Before Bed

It's been a long day, but for those of you who don't know...Sunday was my birthday.

I made a promise to myself that I would try to write for an hour every night (as a kinda birthday present to myself).

The wife-unit agreed to help and she has a whole stack of DVD's checked out from the library.

So after dinner I get to retire to write and she retires to watch television shows.

In theory it should work out perfectly.

Tonight, despite being very tired I put the theory to test and worked on my Steampunk story (as of yet untitled). It's coming along quite well. It's a little darker than I would have liked, but then I lean towards the dark.

Anyway, my goal is to post some of it tomorrow for WIP Wednesday.

Keep your eyes out for it my friends.

Until tomorrow then...

This Pig's going to bed!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Lack of Motivation Is Gonna Be The Death of Me

So there are six things I need to be working on right now as far as writing goes.

1. The forty page post-apocolyptic story I'm only ten pages into.

2. The "Bacon" horror story, which I'm two pages into.

3. Submitting to "Dark Places" which sent me an email on Friday reminding me that I had not submitted. (Which was VERY kind of them and VERY unprofessional of me)

4. Finishing the audio script I want to submit to "Dark Voices"...(though I'm not sure if they're still up and running...something else I need to check into).

I took the day off yesterday for my birthday...which is today...and the way things are going I'll probably take today off as well.

Best kick myself in the butt tonight and tomorrow.

Ugggh...I'm soooooo bad.

Monday, August 31, 2009

So Now What?

I found a publisher that wants 'novelettes' between 30-40 pages in length.

Honestly I think I could bust that out in like a weekend...or perhaps one evening? (Hmmmmm...)

I do like a challenge.

I also have an idea.

Of course I also have a story due tomorrow for creative writing class (which I still have about five pages left on) - so I suppose I should stop goofing around and get to work on that.

But I'll let you know about the 30 page story.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

WIP Wednesday

So I've started teaching the creative writing class I teach for a new year. Half the students are showing promise, the rest need much work, TLC and in one case a swift kick in the rear.

One of my students is very religious, and her mother is even worse. She's been sharing our work with her mom.

I write along with the kids and share my work with them as well...so alas - no zombie stories for me this year...sigh...

As a result I've decided this would be a good time to work on a few Steampunk short stories as a warm up for NaNoWriteMo in November...(my goal is to write the proper Steampunk YA novel).

Anyway here is the start to my Steampunk short story (as of yet untitled).


Removing his spectacles, Ian began to clean them on the end of his shirtail. Looking up he glanced at his friend and flat-mate Lucian Meriwether, sitting directly opposite him. The candle on his desk framed the young man's form which was cast in shadow as he hunched over the brass eyepiece of his microscope. Outside the wind howled through the empty night streets, while the rain beat gently upon the leaded glass of their dormer window.

Rising from his leather chair, Ian stepped from the warmth of the fireplace and peered down into the deserted street below. The gas-lamps glowed faintly in the mist, barely illuminating the shining pavement. A single figure rushed through the fog, a student or faculty member burning the midnight oil at the school library most likely.



Anyway. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm going for a Holmes and Watson thing...that is if Holmes and Watson were seventeen when they met.

It's a start. Wait until you see what they find at the Bell Tower Aslyum.



Monday, August 24, 2009

An Ambitious Undertaking

So September 6th is my birthday and I have a goal to accomplish fifty goals in one year. Part of that goal is to keep my blog up to date, so as I cross each one off my list I will update the old blog...while still putting in my valuable input on other matters as well.

As you'll see some things are simple, some are more complex.

Here is the mighty 'To Do List' to end all to do lists.

1. I have a scar on my leg that needs looking to.
2. I still like to drop between ten to fifteen pounds.
3. My glasses keep falling of my face - so they need to be fixed.
4. Buy some new shirts.
5. Buy new sports jackets.
6. My shoes need new shoelaces.
7. I wear these black slippers at church and I need a new pair.
8. I've still got all my fat clothes laying around, so I need to get rid of them.
9. I broke the heating blanket we use during the winter so it needs to be fixed (or replaced)
10. Clean the shower drain (it's starting to smell funky)
11. Clean up under the kitchen sink (scared to see what's down there)
12. Clean the garbage disposal (also starting to smell funky)
13. Clean up the office (Angie wants to make it a reading room)
14. Download a bunch of music from my friend Amy (she has a great collection of music)
15. Steam clean the carpet
16. Organize all the bookshelves (should take days)
17. Write a novel during Nanowritemo.
18. Keep up blog
19. Send out promised copies of my book to those whom I promised a copy
20. Save $2000.00
21. Finish painting the upstairs offices at church
22. Get rid of all the metal at church (as promised like over a year ago)
23. Finish scraping the wax off the hardwood floors of church (as promised like over a year ago)
24. Make all new lesson plans for school
25. Make all new tests and quizzes for school
26. Make new Holocaust presentation for school
27. Start meditating
28. Start working out.
29. Finish YA book.
30. Continue to submit (with hopefully around ten acceptances this year)
31. Fix computer (the screen is broken)
32. Fix truck mirror
33. Clean interior of truck
34. Replace radio (which was stolen by the neighborhood meth-heads)
35. Find summer job
36. Replace truck breaks.
37. Submit 'Blackwater'
38. Submit "Sorcerers Orphan"
39. Buy new skillet
40. Visit three schools where I might want to work instead of my current place.
41. Get new scanner for school
42. Get back up drive for school
43. Start garden at school
44. Get bag fixed.
45. Finish Nazi story
46. Restock wine rack
47. Finish every season of "The Rockford Files"
48. Buy coffee mug
49. Drink Absinthe
50. Travel (Not sure where to yet...either Portland or Chicago I think)

OK - so starting September 6th I'm off and running...

Wish me luck...

I'm gonna need it.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Horror Movie Classics X

Well folks...this is it...Number 10!

The last film is also a silent masterpiece...the German flick "Nosferatu".

Plot:

You have young Thomas, a realestate agent who is sent to conclude the sale of some creepy old dudes house "Count Orlok". The Count invites his guest to dinner, but when Thomas cut's his hand there's this really cool scene where the Count tries to suck the blood from his hand.

Thomas begins to suspect Count Orlok is a vampire when he awakes with bite marks on his neck. Searching the castle Thomas finds the Count's coffin down in the crypt.


There is a really bad ass scene where Thomas then sees Orlok piling up coffins in a wagon, getting ready to transport them to his new home which is...wait for it...ACROSS THE STREET FROM THOMAS'S HOUSE...dun..dun...dun!!!

The coffins are transported via ship to the Count's new home as a plague spreads across Europe where the victims sport 'bite type' marks.

You have another really cool scene where the ship arrives in Thomas's hometown.

Orlok moves in and Ellen (this would be the main squeeze of Thomas) transfixes the vampire with her beauty.

But what Count Orlok dosn't know is that the blood of a pure woman (see Ellen) - will cause him to loose track of time. Which will in turn allow the sunlight to do it's thing and BOOM no more vamp!


You've got some really great shots in this film. Like really famous shots. Things that even if you don't know where they come from you'd still recognize them.


This is a must see for any 'horror film buff' - you can't really call yourself that if you have not seen this film.

Four Skulls (I mean it still suffers from the pacing of a silent film - but that's not really it's fault is it?)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Horror Movie Classics IX

It would seem that the last three films I've saved to watch are all going to be silent films.

Today's entry is "Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"


The Plot:

You take kindly old Doctor Jekyll, who spends most of his free time helping the little orphan kids down at his charity clinic. When not doing good deeds he can be found trying to court his love interest Millicent.

Her dad, Sir George belittles the good doctor, telling him he is too good and to prove it takes the young doctor to a music hall. I suppose it's suppose to be like a Victorian strip club because Doctor Jekyll becomes obsessed with a dancer named Gina.


Doctor Jekyll comes up with an idea that he'll separate his two selves, into the good and for lack of a better word the "evil" side. As most of us know, this is Mr. Hyde.

The belief is that Mr. Hyde can help conquer the doctor's basic primal needs while keeping his soul squeaky clean.

As Mr. Hyde becomes more and more depraved it becomes increasingly harder for Doctor Jekyll to keep him under control.

Eventually he murders Sir George and as Millicent grieves the doctor slowly goes insane from the guilt.

I'm not gonna lie, I've never been a big fan of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde storyline. I mean you've got a 'gentleman' who underneath it all is really just a 'psycho'. I've seen it done so many times before from "Silence of the Lambs" to the Showtime series "Dexter". I suppose people like the idea that the nice guy who lives next door to your grandma and helps her take her trash out every Wednesday has half a dozen bodies buried under his cellar.

I dunno...

But-

This film was actually quite good. For a silent film the pace was good. The sets were excellent and for 1920 the special effects were out of this world. (There is a particularly good scene where a giant spider climbs on the doctor's bed and begins the devour him - and remember this was filmed in NINETEEN TWENTY!!!)

But what I really liked about the film was how it was really a comment of Victorian England and it's class system.

Let me digress for a moment...Horror - at it's best, is really just a comment on your society.

Films like "Invaders From Mars" and "Them" produced in the 1950s - were really about the Russian invasion and nuclear fallout.

Films like "Last House on the Left" and "The Exorcist" (which came on in the 1970s) reflect a world out of control...which isn't surprising for a generation that was let down after the 1960s failed to deliver what it had promised.


Films like "Friday the 13th" and "A Nightmare on Elm Street" (1980s) show what happens when groups of teenagers run around and have sex...they die. Funny that these films started coming out when AIDS was really hitting the news.


You see horror shows us what's wrong with our society...what we REALLY fear, and let me tell you something...I fear Ronald Regan and George W. Bush more than I fear zombies and vampires.

But let me get back to my point.

Mr. Hyde can be depraved only because of the good doctor's money. He pays for impovrished women and then discards them like trash. He attacks a young boy on the street and then simply writes a check for one hundred pounds to pay the father off. It's like no matter how bad he is he can just throw money at it and keep acting however he wants. (No that's scary...because we all know it's true).

My favorite part of the movie (or at least the one that sent chills up my spine the most) was where the organ music changed to this upbeat madrigal stuff which accompanied Mr. Hyde beating Sir George to death with a cane. The music dosen't go with the violence (which goes on for quite some time) and John Barrymore is brillant in his grotusque bloodlust. Very disturbing. I can't imagine what the audiences at the time thought.

Anyway...good film over all...I'll give it four skills and an old white guy.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Horror Movie Classics VIII

Sorry about the delay folks...this pig has no excuse...so I'm not gonna waste your time...

But I always try to finish what I start (no matter how painful) - So I'm back with classic horror movie number 8.

Today's movie is 1920s silent film - "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari"


The plot centers around a young German lad named Francis who is sitting in a park telling his story to an old man who just happens to be sharing the park bench with him.

It seems a while back Francis and his friend Alan went to the local carnival to take in the show. They agree to go see Dr. Caligari's 'Cabinet' which contains Cesare - a very tall a creepy looking somnambulist (it's alright...I didn't know what it meant either). So a quick check on the inter-web and...A Somnambulist is - a person who sleepwalks.


You see Cesare is in a trance throughout the whole movie. Alan asks Cesare how long he has to live to which the prophetic Cesare says that Alan will die that very night.

Alan dies (go figure) and now Francis and his girlfriend Jane begin to suspect Dr. Caligari and his sleepwalking goon. Cesare kidnaps Jane on Caligari's orders, which results in a chase by a torch and pitchfork wielding mob. Cesare falls to his death, but Jane is saved.


The search is now on for Caligari who, as it turns out, runs the local insane aslyum.

But wait...there's a twist ending as we find out that Francis is really insane and locked up in said aslyum. Jane and Cesare are fellow inmates (as is the old man to whom he is talking) and Dr. Caligari while really the director of the aslyum is not really evil.

Ah...

So how was it?

Well, truth be told how good can a silent film from 1920 be?

Actually that's not quite true, I love Fritz Lang's epic masterpiece "Metropolis"...though I have to say it's very much improved by the Queen soundtrack they added in the 1980s.


The problem with this film as how slow the pace was. Now I'm not the kind of guy who needs explosions and boobs every two minutes in my film to keep my attention...but I do need a story arc that can play out in a reasonable amount of time.

Slow pace sure...but what was good about it was this whole weird art neveau thing they had going on with the sets. I do know enough about film to know that when it first started out they were simply taking stage plays and filming them. Thus the use of sets as backdrops. These sets were very far out and very cool. The Germans have never been afraid of experimenting when it comes to film and I admire that. Sometimes the pay off is pretty outstanding.


So in the end I'm gonna give this bad boy Three Skulls Ale...raise yer tankards Matey!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

A Now A Word From Our Sponsors

Weekend rolled around and Sundays is Mystery! night, so no horror movie watching for me tonight. So to make it up for you I thought I'd share this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOp3bZxCdKA

I laughed so hard I cried.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Horror Movie Classics VII

I feel like I'm dragging through this project...seems like I should have thought it out more when I started.

But far be it for me to complain, I made you a promise and by God I'm gonna stick to it!!!

So...today's film is...Dementia 13.

Interesting note here...this was Francis Ford Coppola's first directorial debut. Thank God they gave him a second chance.

Now don't get me wrong, the beginning starts out well. You have the resident eye candy Louise out in a row boat with her husband.



Hubby tells her she out of the family will and then he promptly dies from a heart attack. (How fortunate for dear old Louise!)

So she does what any loving wife would do, she dumps the body overboard. She then flies over the Atlantic to the family home in Ireland in a desperate attempt to make up with dear old 'mother in law'. The idea is to get back in good with the fam so mom will reconsider adding her back to the will while her husband is 'away on business.'

So once we get to the family estate the film starts playing by the numbers.

For example, you have-

Insane mother - check
Mysterious death of a daughter long ago - check
Creepy brother in law - check
Lot's of moody Gothic location filming - check
Plot...oh...well is that really necessary?

Half way through the story gets kinda muddled. So what's any self respecting young flimmaker to do?

Why you simply bring out the axe wielding manic to chase everyone around for the last twenty minutes of the film.

Oh don't get my wrong, you get some pretty gory scenes at this point. And I know you're saying, "Well this would be a good thing right Pig?"

Let me tell you, no matter how much blood you throw at a film, if the ending is tacked on because the film is running slow that's not helping that's making things worse.

Eh...

Over all not as bad as "Nightmare Castle" - but not as good as "Horror Hotel".

So where does that leave us?

Well I was going to give it two and a half skulls...but...

I couldn't find a photo of two and a half skulls so I'm giving "Dementia 13"

Two skulls


and a Lemur eating natchos and drinking beer while watching what I assume is "Night of The Living Dead".

At least I think that's a lemur...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Horror Movie Classics VI

Now I'm breaking the rules a bit here, as I did not watch today's film today - but that's only because I've already seen it. Numerous times.

Today's film is...

Night of The Living Dead.



In the interest of full discloser I do have to admit that I've got a thing for zombies. So I will try to unbiased in this review...

Oh who am I kidding? I LOVE THIS FILM!!!

It's not just that it's the first in Romeros four part series, it's that it changed the way zombie films were done. It changed the way we thought about zombies.

Up to 1968 - the zombie was a creature created via voodoo. If you were going to face a zombie it was going to be in some place like Haiti and even then it was only going to be one or two of them.

But this film chucked all that out the window and here was a whole society turned in to flesh eating undead. How freaking cool is that?!



But here is where the film really shines. Instead of showing massive cities under seige, the director placed a group of people in a small farmhouse and lets the action proceed from there. The tension ratchets up as wave upon wave of undead come after them.

Plus it's got everything...incest, necrophelia, cannibialsim. Horror to the max.



You know deep down there is no good way for this to end, and that's exactly what you get. In a Hollywood where everything is given to a focus group that begs for a 'happy ending' you've gotta ask yourself - How can there be a happy ending in a zombie flick?

The answer - if you're honest. There can't be a happy ending, and that's exactly what you get with "Night of the Living Dead." The realistic ending that shows you how much the end of the world will hurt when it gets here.

2012 anyone?

Oh yeah...as if you needed to ask - Five out of Five Skulls

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Horror Movie Classics V

OK Folks we're halfway through the set and today do we have a treat for you...

Horror Hotel



This little gem comes to us from the Hammer Studios in England. Now for those of you who don't know about the Hammer Studios they were a British Film powerhouse in the 1950s through the 1970s. They specialized in horror, sci-fi and thriller pics. They were NOT famous for films where people get killed with hammers (as my friend Lauren asked me today).

Horror Hotel has a simple little plot.

Christopher Lee is a professor in America specializing in the witches of New England. He sends a female student interested in the topic to a small remote town to do some research. But the hotel in which she stays is run by a...wait for it...COVEN OF WITCHES!!!

Dun-dun-dun...

What I liked about the film was the exterior shots of the village and the surround countryside. Filmed in a studio, all they did was fog the hell out of everything and use shadow. Very cool look.



The acting was good. The hipsters in their cool early sixties ties were good. Over all it was a nice little film, with a plot that made sense and a climax that didn't let me down.

Hell...

I'd even watch this one again.

Four out of Five Skulls.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Horror Movie Classics IV

Today's Film is...drum roll please...

Nightmare Castle!



So far we have a winner! This is the film that will dethrone "The Terror" as the worst movie I've seen in the set so far.

The plot?

Crazy scientist dude catches his wife and her lover 'getting it on' in the greenhouse. (I couldn't figure out why the two met in her bedroom and then had to go downstairs to find some rotten old leaves on which to 'get jiggy with it').

Crazy scientist dude tortures wife and lover before killing them...but wait! Just before she dies wife says she had left her family fortune to her sister whom is in an insane asylum and whom she hates.

Crazy scientist dude marries the sister before moving her into the dark brooding castle. Slowly he tries to drive her mad while he lurks around with his maid (really his wife whom he is keeping alive by giving her blood transfusions from the people he kills).

Ok - so what's the problem?

Well first - someone needed to invest in some lighting. Half the time I couldn't even see what was going on it was so dark. That's not what I call atmosphere, that's just frustrating. The pace was slow and some things just didn't make any damn sense.

For example: When crazy scientist dude disposes of the bodies he burns them and places their ashes in a pot. At the beginning of the movie the characters make a big deal out of the 'fleshy plant' growing from it. Then...THEY DON'T MENTION THE DAMN THING AGAIN!!!

But here's my favorite, in the climax the ghosts of those killed are running around and the one good guy (the doctor from the asylum) conveniently finds a glass box filled with murky water and THE HEARTS OF THE TWO PEOPLE WHO HAD BEEN MURDERED!

At this point I'm like 'What The Hell? Where did this come from?'

So the ghost kills the scientist and his wife/maid, the good guy throws the hearts in the fireplace before running from the castle with the crazy girl and BOOM - you've got yourself an ending.

Blah.

I was going to give this no skulls - but I'm gonna give it one for two reasons.

First...Helga Line was in it and she's quite easy on the eyes.



and second...for this scene



So...one skull (begrudgingly)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Horror Movie Classics Part III

Today we have a little film I was very excited to watch.

The Last Man on Earth!



The reason I was so excited to see this film is because it's based off of one of my all time favorite novels - "I am Legend" by Richard Matheson. There have been two other attempts to make this novel into a film. After "The Last Man on Earth!" there was "The Omega Man" in 1971



and then "I am Legend" in 2007.



So how does the original compare?

Well, it's closest to the book. I think that's because it was the only version where Matheson was actually involved with the script.

I love movies about the end of the world. The beginning of "The Omega Man" is great at this, I even enjoyed watching Will Smith walk around an empty New York in the new version. The biggest problem with "The Last Man on Earth" is the lack of these types of scenes. Vincent Price does visit the burn pits where the bodies were dumped before society completely went down the crapper, which was cool. But beyond that, well...the small budget really hurts this film.

At first you can tell by the buildings in the background that this film was not made in America, after a little research I found they filmed it in Rome. Which to me was just plain weird. When you read the book you have to visualize it as one of those old black and white 'Twilight Zone' episodes filmed in an abandoned LA of the mid-1950s. It helps. But this film was just off somehow.

Is it good? Yeah, it's better than the others. The ending is the closest and doesn't suffer from the pretentious ending that plagues "The Omega Man". Vincent Price is not a good choice as Robert Neville (in this film called Dr. Robert Morgan) - but it does address his depression which the other films don't really seem to capture. If you have a free afternoon with nothing better to do and this comes on television I would recommend you give it a chance. But really what you should do instead is go to the library and check the book out and read it yourself.



It's a short novel and will take just as long to read as it would to watch the film.

Three out of Five Skulls - (For a decent attempt at a fantastic novel)

Friday, July 3, 2009

Horror Movie Classics Part II

OK - Today's film will be...

The House on Haunted Hill!



Now for those of you under a certain age...do not get this confused with the 1999 remake of the same name.

In this film you have Vincent Price in top form as the millionare who offers - wait for it...a whopping $10,000 to a group of strangers to spend the night in a 'haunted house'. I'm guessing in 1959 this was a massive amount of money.

I love black and white films, and truth be told halfway through the flick I stopped looking at it as a horror movie and more as a mystery. (Which helped). It becomes pretty obvious early on that the 'haunted house' isn't really 'haunted' and it appears that Mr. Price is trying to pull something over on everyone.

There is a great part at the beginning where he and his forth wife (the first three died under bizarre circumstances) banter back and forth about how they would love to kill one another.



The party guests arrive - a chandelier falls and almost kills someone. Vince Price arrives and pours drinks for everyone, before they go on a tour of the house, visting all the places where people were murdered.

Then at one point all the party guests receive party favors in the form of small little caskets containing...GUNS!

Now as most of you know, handguns are probably the most ineffective item against evil spirits that can be thought of. However, if your intent is for everyone to run around in a panic shooting each other it's a great idea.

So Vincent Prices wife played by the very lovely Carol Ohmart is hung - people panic. All fingers point towards the evil Mr. Price.

There is a twist ending, a walking skeleton that forces Carol Ohmart into a pool of acid and Vincent Price gets the last line.



Over all that pacing was better than 'The Terror' and the plot made much more sense. In addition the whole 'paying people to spend the night in the haunted house' motif has been so overdone, but think of it this way. This is the film that started that motif, which means it must have made quite an impact at the time.

So...for Vincent Prices superb performance, the genuinely creepy scene where a female character turns around only to be confronted with a hidious old hag - teeth bared and hands like claws and the extra bonus of a PLOT! I give this film three out of five skulls.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Horror Movie Classics Part I

OK - dear friends, I'm back as promised.

By the way - the game download didn't work...arrrggg!

Still, that is not what I have on the agenda for today as my discussion topic.

Instead let me tell you a little bit about this purchase I made a couple of years ago. In the bargain bin at Best Buy was the 'Collectors Edition' of Horror Movie Classics.



Now I got this little gem for only $14.99 plus tax - and it came with count them with me...ten - that's right TEN classic horror films. That's roughly a dollar fifty per film.

And now you ask - was it worth it?

Well...

Here's what I'm gonna do.

And I want you to realize I'm doing this for the both of us - not just myself.

I'm gonna watch all these films this summer and review them for you. And if you're really fired up about watching one - and you can't find it on Netflix - I may be willing to loan you a copy.

So...

First Up!

The Terror!



So here is the 'plot' of this film in a nutshell.

You have a very, young Jack Nicholson (this is pre "Easy Rider" days). Who plays a French soldier lost on the beach. As I watched the film I could just imagine him starting his role with a very bad French accent and the director just finally saying, "Jack just play the role with your regular voice!"

Young Jack sees a beautiful woman who disappears as he passes out. When he comes to, some old witch woman is nursing him back to health. Her toady, some dude that dies in a really cool way (a bird pecks his eyes out half way through the film and he falls to his death from a cliff) - tells Young Jack the ghost woman can be found in some castle on top of a cliff.

Young Jack goes to investigate and this is where he finds Boris Karloff puttering around all alone with his lackey butler. There are a lot of scenes of people walking down big staircases, women in white walking through the mist of a graveyard and lots and lots and lots of organ music.

So was it good? Not really. Twenty minutes into the thing I was already tired of the slow pace. I mean I love Gothic stuff, but you don't need five minutes of a girl walking around a crypt when two minutes would do.

I felt bad for the actors. Jack Nicholson is full of life and seems to know he's on the verge of a great career. While Boris Karloff is clearly at the end of his. It's sad to see him relegated to such a role and such a film. He's clearly the best actor in the film and while he gets top billing Young Jack burns probably twice the amount of screen time.

Still, maybe ole Boris didn't mind sitting in his trailer most of the time, letting Young Jack run around and do all the work while he got paid half as much as the master.

Would I watch it again...hell - I barely made it through the first time.

Let's hope the next nine days are an improvement.

Two skulls out of Five - (mostly for atmosphere which was cool and kinda creepy - and for the ghost girl who was pretty hot)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Can You Ever Forgive Me

Now I realize that when we got into this realtionship there were a couple of expectations.

1. You promised that you would read what I wrote and in turn...

2. While I promised to write on a regular basis and not sleep around.

Well, I have not been sleeping around, but I have really let you down.

So for that I'm really, really sorry. For what it's worth I'm back.

Right now, I've just downloaded a game, which I'm gonna try out (I'll get back to you on what it's like)

So more tomorrow...I promise.

Love ya all - and...oh yeah

I'M BACK!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

So Here I Am

I was walking through the woods today...something I've been doing lately and which I find very relaxing. And I was reviewing my goals for this year, and I think I'm doing pretty good.

I lost 70 pounds.

I've got about thirty pages left of Zombacolypse!

and I'm alot more laid back when it comes to the spiritual enlightenment.

So where do I still need to go?

Well...

This summer I'd like to start working out. I think if I can loose another fifteen pounds and firm everything up I'd be pretty happy.

I know where Zombacolypse! is going, but I'm stuck on the climax. I've got all the characters in place, I've got the setting - I think I know what's in the magic box and I know who has to die and who has to live. Problem is making it all work and come together. It's like a jigsaw puzzle for your creative mind. Ughh...

I think more time for meditation and talking with the big guy upstairs would help. Other than that, I'm growing flowers, I'm walking, I'm eating better. Life could be worse...

Friday, April 17, 2009

Winding Down

Well, my week long vacation is coming to an end. Tomorrow I'm going to hopefully record half the podcast my friend Will and I are doing of a novel I wrote a couple of years ago called "Blackwater". By next Saturday we will hopefully have recorded the whole thing and then we'll go through the process of editing and adding the music. My old friend Devil Blair is going to supply the music and hopefully we can have the podcast up and going on Itunes by the end of May.

I feel kind of bad that I'm starting a new project when I haven't even finished Zombacolypse! However, I think maybe standing back and giving it some room right now might not be a bad idea.

I let you know how the recording goes.

Pig out...

Monday, April 13, 2009

Must Find Time To Breathe

Had today off. Planned on sleeping until noon, however there was too much for this pig to do. I am kinda happy with the end results. So let's take stock shall we?


I let the wifeunit sleep in while I...

Uploaded my Ipod - Podcasts
Cleaned the house
Did the laundry

Then as she got up around 10:30 I...

Went to the grocery store
Made lunch
Continue to do laundry

I then went in the office to...

Fix spelling and grammar errors on Blackwater
Continue to do laundry

Wifeunit fell asleep, so I...

Went and bought some new tabacco for my pipe
Went on an hour long hike through the woods (very peaceful)

Come home and...

Made dinner
Continued to do laundry
Did dishes

After dinner I...

Wrote the first three pages for Blackwater
Fixed page numbering problems on Blackwater and The Sorcerers Orphan
Finished laundry

Now I'm...

Catching up on Facebook
Catching up on Blogging

Next I'm gonna...

Take a hot bath
Go to bed by ten

A productive yet relaxing day...

not bad Crimson Pig...not bad at all!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

What A Strange And Wonderful World In Which We Live

So I've subscribed to a podcast called "Tapestry of The Times". If you haven't heard of it, I suggest you give it a try. The Smithsonian Institute releases some of their vast collection once a week and you hear anything from 1930's blues, to songs sung during the Civil War, to Chilean folk songs about lamas, to Indonesian pop song's from 1977.

Last week the topic was songs about Joe Hill.

Now for those of you like myself who didn't know who Joe Hill was, I learned a little info from my podcast as well. Joe Hill was a labor activist, who lived around the turn of the twentieth century. He was executed for a crime he didn't commit in Utah. The man tried to keep him down, but instead they made a martyr of him. When he died he was quoted as saying, "Don't Mourn - Organize!"



Now I had always known Joe Hill as the novelist of the horror novel - "Heart Shaped Box"



And if he looks familiar, that's because his father is a little know horror author himself. You may have heard of the guy, I think his name is something like Stephen King.

Anyway, I get to listening to these songs about Joe Hill they're playing on the "Tapestry of the Times" and I love them. So I start downloading a couple for the Ipod.

Strange.

I never knew I liked songs about Unionizing. I wonder what other wonderful stuff there is out there that I'll discover at some point in my life?

Can't wait to find out.